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fuck. i'm like, STRESSED. things aren't looking good. and i know how to settle everything, i just need TIME. fuck.

ok, i bought a new pair or running shoes, hopefully i'll be running more, since i really need to shed off some of those pounds..

reasons to why i'm stressed:
failed G-qualification today, didn't make it for the 9G profile. fucking shit. 6sec GLOC on first attempt, 7 sec ALOC on 2nd attempt. came out of it with a sore neck and back.

next, cuz of the fever i had on 20th july, i missed 1.5 days of APT, which i have to make up for soon, and the next available is the week of 19th-23rd OCT. YES. FUCKING OCTOBER. guess wad? i'm required to reach marseille on the 22nd of october. SMILE. this whole system is fucking cock up.

1 day has passed. 4 more days to principles of flight exams. fuck.

instrumentation exam was DOGSHIT. passing mark was as low as 60%. guess wad? guess again? i passed lah god dammit! jon and gab failed with 58.1% though.. i got 77% around there.. some based on pure luck, some because the question didnt trick me into giving the wrong answer.. after the video conferencing, concepts seem to be clearer to me now.. but, i'm really starting to have doubts about myself.. yet another guy is on the verge of getting chopped in france. damn.

centrifuge on this coming monday. recap on habituation 3, my body ached for 2 days and felt sore for the 3rd day.. i can really imagine how 9Gs would feel like it's almost ripping my body apart.. i can't blame anyone, i havent been putting in the effort to gym and run, not doing even enough to MAINTAIN my fitness.. now that it has dropped, i can only keep my fingers crossed with so little time left.. god bless my AGSM, please don't leak any air!

anyway, next week's principle of flight.. i'm owing chapters after chapters for my previous topics. god dammit.

haha back from nights out.. lovely.. went for dinner with keane and heidi, everytime i see them, i can't help but ask when are they getting married.. i think they're just one cert short..

anyway, i've started on instrumentation. all i can say is, it's fucking difficult.. i really have no idea wad are they describing..

once again, i've not gotten my ippt gold today, and it's still the 2.4.. i'm a fucking fatty.

haha, the past 2 morning briefs were slaps in my face.. thursday's quote was winston churchill's "success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts" and today, ah yap decided to present on "the greatest mistake u can make in life is to be continually afraid of making one" by elbert green hubbard.

last night was really disturbing, and images just flashed through my mind for 2.5 hours before i eventually fell asleep at 1am. not for long though, i had nightmares and woke up at around 120, and 3+ and 4+ and finally 615.. haha.. sucks..

my book on instrumentation is still wrapped in its cover, seems like a bad sign, better start studying like NOW.. haha.. update next time ;)

let's see.. had nav exam on monday, did pretty good for it, did morning brief for tuesday, and chiong-ed tang xin feng bao for the whole week till 2-3+ am everyday.. ahaha the most ridiculous was thursday night cuz there was an exam on friday.. but the show is really good! =x

seem to be ok right now, studying and slacking, putting my career first in my life. well, not exactly full throttle into it, for example, i choose to forsake exercise for studying and resting.. lol.. french classes have been pretty interesting, and i'm glad i didn't choose to skip it this week to visit her.. well, that thought did cross my mind when i first knew she got into an accident, but when i called and she said it wasn't so serious i decided to go to class instead.. haha 7 more french lessons, 8 more weeks to departure.. i just hope we dont end up looking autistic in a conversation!

sigh, the next week wouldn't be an easy one, it'll be fast, not by no means, easy..
heads up to the activities in store:
monday go and spin again, gradual 6 and yoyo 5-6-5-6-7.. think it's gonna be tiring..
tuesday FFI at french doctor
wednesday ippt,
thursday visa application and french class at night,
friday exam.. anybody sees any slot for studying?

it's instrumentation this week. sianz.

i'm screwed. i studied over the weekends, yes. but i did it at the expense of my morning brief preparation.. i wanted to do a quote on albert einstein for the "quote of the day" section. but i realised that bugger's history is sooooo darn freaking loooooooongggg i dont wanna do it anymore.. so i changed one to jfk.. he's got a pretty long history as well but at least he didnt live so long haha.. =X

man utd will begin kick birmingham's ass later!! muahahahha

well, it certainly doesn't seem like i'll be able to waste this weekend away! monday's the exam for navigation, and my god u wouldn't know how screwed the 3 of us are.. rhumb lines, great circle track, convergency and what not.. tres difficile..

actually it's just a pretty short week, and everyday was kept busy..
tuesday was my dreaded training, and putting me in the machine and spinning spinning spinning, i let go at 7.3Gs without fighting cuz of my previous experience.. haha

caught hangover during nights out on wednesday, it was hilarious..
thursd was studying and french classes at night, now i think gab is going to move in on melissa.. haha, doesn't it suck that the first question pple ask is always regarding ur paycheck?

this morning was chionging with whatever leftover questions from the assignment, and passing it up to pascal.. the afternoon was down to collect our number 2 and number 5 uniforms, and i look good in both! haha just that i've put on a little weight since the 6-7 weeks ago, and my pants is a little tight, so i'll have to go back and collect my number 2 sometime again..

not forgetting that i'm doing tuesday's morning brief, which i've yet to prepare a shit for it. monday will be occupied with navigation exam and video conferencing, after that i've gotta prepare for tuesday's brief. sucks right! all because "they" are having exams in the morning. damn.

quote from dr mishra: " 'huck' is not a magic word. the G forces won't disappear by shouting at it"
that wasn't for me, mine was "WHY U LET GO AT 10 SECONDS!?! IT'S UNACCEPTABLE!"
LOL!

sigh, another weekend burnt. once again, i brought the books back, but the only time i read it was last night before i slept, about 10 pages den i dozed off already..

tsktsk.. the outlook doesnt seem so good for me.. so many wants. i want a new laptop! and i want a new phone too.. i don't understand, all i need to do now is to subscribe to the blackberry net and i can use it already, cuz my phone is bb enabled. but i keep having this screwed up thinking that i should just go get a blackberry.. and storm looks good, but reviews don't really match up.. should i wait for storm 2 then? also, part of me wants the iphone. but it's stupid.. hahaha.. and i want the macbook for the classy feel. but the whole point of it is because i wanna play game so it's not really something i need right?

hmm, there's a comex fair in sept.. probably get my laptop then..

gosh, i decided it would be good if i started keeping track of my expenses.. went thru the past 2 months bank statement,

for the month of june

total expenses 1949
breakdown:
insurance 330
give mum 400
ez link 80
the rest were all either withdrawals or payment by card..

july..

total expenses 2249
insurance 330
give mum 400
repayment to cpf 400
ez link 0 (which means i cabbed really alot!)
french class 288
bday treat 220
+ withdrawals

first 10 days of august..
1441

insurance 330
give mum 400
repayment to cpf 500
ez link 10

which means about 200 spent already..

this is not good. i'm staying in camp, shouldn't i be spending lesser? i still have about 5k of education loan to repay.. god dammit..

let's see, actually quite alot of things happened this week, but the most significant one that i can't get out of my mind now is glamis was selected for the USAFA scholarship! NICE! the past 5-6 months of reading every article in the papers paid off! hahaha, he wanted to go for the french air force scholarship but the other candidate knows french, so he lost out in that area, packing his ass off to US instead..

well, i guess the feeling is different when u know a "scholar" before he's really one.. it's different when u know him as a person, as a friend, as a buddy.. rather than "oh, he's a scholar" kind of thing.. tsktsk, one thing's for sure, i'll miss him! haha.. look at this, i'm going to france in october, he's going to states in may, i'll be away for 18 months, he'll be away for 4 years.. when he comes back, it's probably my turn to go to the states.. say, we won't really see each other for about 5-6 years after this? that's why, WE'RE GOING TO PARTY TONIGHT! bring it on!

fuck. i've had a bay day. it's nothing serious, but i've just had a bad day.

do we pass 2 seconds at a time during weekends? cuz it feels exceptionally short!
sigh, once again, the only thing i did to my book was to bring it out from camp, put in on my table, and i'll be bringing it back to camp shortly.. guess my laundry is more important, cuz at least i got them washed, dried, and ironed.

time flies when you're kept busy. and time really flew that fast. for starters, it's already august, which means i'm be gone in another 11-12 wks time.. damn.. talked to daddy about some of the changes of plans, cuz initially i didn't want to come back during the 18 months, but after some consideration, i want to come back in around jul to aug period. but it's not within my control that we will not be able to come back despite having a 1 month break. so my dad said, it's ok if u don't come back, use the opportunity to rough it out alone over there, go backpacking.. i'll see how it goes when it's due..

there are some people whom u dont mind seeing everyday, and there are some pple whom u dont want to see at all, a sad thing is, u usually get stuck with the latter group of pple. i chickened out. i ps-ed everybody for steamboat today, claiming a tummyache. even though i've been craving for steamboat for a few weeks, i just didnt want to go with them.. can u imagine, i see that same face for 6 consecutive days already, and it's the first and last face i see everyday when i wake up and slp. i'll be seeing him for the next 18 months as well. i'm contradicting myself. i want the bond to improve but i'm not doing anything about it. we just can't seem to get along that well. is it because of the jc and poly issue? or is it because he's the only child in his family and he's used to doing things his way?

conversation with her on thursday night till 1am, it's been pretty long since we've chatted that much, told her about how much i've screwed up over time, and she only had 3 letters to me. "YDI" and i dont know wad it meant till she told me it stands for "you deserved it!" hahaha.. well, i guess i really did.

hmm, when the water supply stops, u remember to appreciate water. and now we've learnt, the stadium toilet's reserve tank can last long enough for u to just wet ur body. HAHA! such a joke, we spent 15 mins to walk there and another 15 to panic in the toilet cuz the reserve tank ran out.. after that, the water supply was restored, and by the time we got back, the others actually finished with their washing up too.

an ill-disciplined week. i only finished 15 chapters on meteorology, and i went to take the test. only had a 71.9%. i now owe 15 chapters for meteorology and u know wad's the best part? it's a beginning of a new week, which means i have to start on navigation. and the topic on navigation is scheduled for 2 weeks, purely because there are 2 books on it! FML.